Have you ever been so angry, that you start to think of ways to hurt (metaphorically speaking) or embarrass the person you are angry at? If the answer is “Yes” help yourself and read this. If you answered “No” you still need to read this.
The other day I was talking to my husband about how disappointed I was with one of the companies we used during our wedding. In the process of talking about how I wasn’t pleased with the end product, I got passionately angry and began to raise my voice, which I rarely do. My husband got quiet. The look on his face was almost like I had been shouting at him, which I had done unknowingly. I wasn’t angry at him but I got so heated up about the issue that he began to feel like I was deflecting those emotions towards him.
In my emotional rant, I went as far as to create a revenge plot on how I would get my money back and would let everyone know not to use their services through social media.
Guys, I was ready to put that company on BLAST.
Some of you are probably thinking what’s wrong with that? They disappointed me so it’s only fair that I air out my feelings. Right?
In the clap-back society that we live in, it is perfectly ok to @ people on social media when they have offended you. People love to see others argue on twitter. It has become a source of entertainment exploited by celebrities as a way of increasing publicity.
Anyhow, for the average folk like myself, we need to realise that this is possibly one of the worst ways to communicate and should only be used as a last resort. In fact, I would go as far as saying don’t do it at all!
If you’ve studied a management course, you may have learnt about different communication models. Lol, don’t worry this isn’t going to turn into a lecture about the Shannon and Weaver model of communication; however, a key point to note is that Noise is one of the biggest problems that hinders effective communication. This Noise can be ‘external’ and ‘Internal’.
To better explain my point above, consider this: have you ever tried telling a story to someone playing on their phone? They don’t really hear everything you are saying. Their phone is acting as an ‘External’ noise, likewise, when you are talking to someone that is angry, they don’t always understand your view because their anger is acting as an ‘internal’ noise that prevents your message from being received.
Social Media has a lot of NOISE, from random adverts to the emotions (or drama) created when a person directly attacks you. You can also add the outsiders commenting on the issue to the list.
Now can you see how and why it is probably one of the worst ways to communicate?
Never allow your anger to make you act out of character. When you do that you give a negative power to a situation that could have been resolved amicably. You are also likely to embarrass yourself and the parties involved.
So what did I do about it?
The following morning, I decided to contact the company and explained how I felt. I did so in a calm and rational manner. I found that they were able to understand my view on the matter and promised to try to resolve the issue.
“A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back,” Proverbs 29:11 nkjv.